


This Must Be Christmas

by tenacioussurrender



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: ?? - Freeform, Alcohol, All shoulders and up, Also it is a club setting so there is some, Are these the only tags I know?, Brotherly Bonding, Christmas, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Drunk Number Five | The Boy, Gen, He's a little surly, Hurt Number Five | The Boy, Hurt/Comfort, No Incest, Non-Consensual Touching, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Whump, Number Five | The Boy is also Bad at Feelings, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Songfic, The Three C's, They are both equally Bad at Feelings, clubs, cursing, i guess this could qualify as a, idk man, just my two favorite stabby bois bro-ing it out, kinda??, maybe so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenacioussurrender/pseuds/tenacioussurrender
Summary: "Five blinks, realizing he’s let his mind get away from him. He’s walked halfway across town at this point and hadn’t even noticed. He’s freezing and his brain latches onto that thought, focusing entirely on that, hell-bent to think of anything other than Diego’s snarled face and his “It’s like Dad never even died.” Five’s lip twitches, eyes burning harsher.The sound of loud music and singing snatches his attention before he can do something embarrassing like cry. He follows the sound like a bloodhound, intent on anything to numb him where the alcohol thrumming through his veins has clearly failed. "Five being sad and lonely + Christmas + all (almost all) of his siblings off doing their own things + alcohol + night club/bar + some PTSD + surprise appearance by his currently least favorite sibling = a concoction of light angst that leads to light brotherly bonding
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 38
Kudos: 190





	This Must Be Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Kodaline’s “This Must Be Christmas” inspired this fic. 
> 
> Also, yes I know I should have been writing my multi-fic instead of this but the power of the holiday season compelled me and forced me to write this. I'm posting this solely so it stops plaguing my mind. Sorry to anyone following my other fic, I promise I'm working on it now :-O

**_It was cold in the night_ **

**_On a long and dark December_ **

Snowflakes fall, white make-shift constellations peppering the air. The clouds block the setting sun leaving the sky a dark, dismal grey. Green eyes are far from their usual bright and inquisitive as they focus assiduously on the task at hand. Five watches, one foot after another, blinking past the haziness in his vision. He sniffles. Reaching up to swipe a sleeve across his nose, he leaves behind irritated redness. He shoves his hand back into his pocket, fingers trembling against the cold piercing through his pants. 

He shivers and raises his shoulders in an attempt to stave off the chill. His hair is wet from snowfall and likely matted in a way that reminds him of the apocalypse. He walks faster at the thought, eyes burning from a sudden onslaught of blurry memories. The winter months in the wake of the end of times were worse than the early days full of fire, freezing him to the core and leaving aches that even Dolores couldn’t remedy. He’d dreamt of hot cocoa and Christmas movies and siblings. He’d dreamt of that then and yet still does now, despite his siblings being alive once more. Despite Grace offering to make him hot chocolate when he’s stayed up too late at night. Despite his abilities to sneak into stores and steal whatever movies he may so desire. Because dreams are one thing, and life is another entirely. 

His siblings are busy, they’re always busy. Allison is gone, back “home” with Claire. Luther’s on some stupid self-enlightening trip around the world, with Klaus no less. What a strange combo. Vanya met someone a few months ago and traveled to Florida with them for holiday celebrations. And Diego...well, Five supposes Diego is the only normal one of their siblings. Normal is a polite way to put it, he thinks. Diego is up to his old shenanigans, clearly unsatisfied without a life of vigilantism. Five had secretly followed him around for a while, just to make sure he didn’t somehow accidentally kill his dumbass of a self. Until Diego caught him and yelled at him. They’d started arguing. It was a stupid misunderstanding, as most of their disputes are, and words were exchanged, ending with Diego accusing him of being just like Dad and Five spatial jumping far enough away that his brother couldn’t hear him cry. 

Five blinks, realizing he’s let his mind get away from him. He’s walked halfway across town at this point and hadn’t even noticed. He’s freezing and his brain latches onto that thought, focusing entirely on that, hell-bent to think of anything other than Diego’s snarled face and his _“It’s like Dad never even died.”_ Five’s lip twitches, eyes burning harsher. 

The sound of loud music and singing snatches his attention before he can do something embarrassing like cry. He follows the sound like a bloodhound, intent on anything to numb him where the alcohol thrumming through his veins has clearly failed. 

He looks up at the sign above the source of all the commotion. _Paradise Club._ He lightly chuckles at the name, Jesus nightclubs are so predictable. In fact, he’s pretty sure that was the name of Luther’s club back in the 60s. Or was it “Carousel Club”? Something equally as cheesy and intuitive surely. He decides he doesn’t really give a shit, shrugs his shoulders and takes a quick stock of his surroundings. There’s a man standing by the doors, but he’s busy focusing on the group of women trying to enter. Five pulls his trembling, pale hands from his pockets and holds them out in front of himself. He summons his powers, and lands in the middle of a crowded, sweaty sea of bodies. 

  
  


**_And I'm drinkin' in the local bar alone_ **

**_There's a man singin' out_ **

**_Singin' words I can't remember_ **

**_Something 'bout a tale of old New York_ **

Five leans against the wall in a dark corner, with a bottle of vodka held down by his thigh. When the bartender wasn’t looking only moments before, he’d spatial jumped, stealing the bottle and then fixing himself in a mildly comfortable corner. Staff are light tonight, or so Five assumes. Only a few linger by the front door, so he drinks like he has nothing to lose because at this point he doesn’t. 

Forty-five years in an apocalyptic wasteland and this is the most lonely he’s ever felt. He watches as people grind on each other to fucking Christmas music of all things. He cringes in disgust, bringing the bottle up to his lips for another swig. Whoever’s currently singing the karaoke version of “Fairytale of New York” is shit, not that Five particularly enjoys the Pogues themselves. The warmth of the alcohol trailing through his body is also suffocating. 

He’s halfway to reaching for his jacket when he realizes belatedly it’s already gone. He looks to the wet floor, head spinning. The statement piece of his Academy ensemble is long gone, nowhere around his small circle of a personal bubble. His head lulls, hitting back against the wall harshly. He sucks in a deep breath, head pounding with reverberating song lyrics. 

“Hey!” He hears someone say over the cacophony of club sounds. 

He blinks, head tilting forward. A group of drunken women are standing before him, staring at him in a way that makes his skin itch. 

“What the hell do you want?” He slurs, free hand pushing against the grimy wall to keep himself from sliding down. 

The women look to each other in a moment of stunned silence before erupting in fits of giggles. 

“Hasn’t anyone taught you that sharing is caring?” One of the women tuts, hand on her hip and eyes narrowed playfully. 

Five stares for a moment, before dropping his gaze to the bottle in his hand. “Oh.”

In a blink, the group is crowded around him, thoroughly popping his personal bubble. He absentmindedly lifts the Vodka bottle, allowing it to be taken from him. He finds his head lulling backwards and forwards as he focuses on the music instead of the women in front of him. 

He isn’t sure how much time has passed before he’s jolting to attention at the feeling of a hand against his face. The group of women from before are gone, in place of them just one lady who’s staring at him with glassy eyes. He glances down and finds the mostly empty bottle now in her hand. He looks back up to her face, her hand now on his shoulder. 

“You’re cute. How old are you?” He registers her question after a moment of silence and a raise of her brows. 

He thinks she reminds him of someone with her blonde hair and her red lips and her sharp nails digging into his bicep. Despite the warmth of the club, a chill parades down his back. 

“Five?”

He blearily glances past the woman, where his brother is standing, face twisted in surprise. 

  
  


**_Pour another whiskey for the road_ **

**_'Cause that's the only spirit that I know_ **

The next thing he knows he’s sitting at the bar, arms bracketed around a small glass of water. How he hasn’t been kicked out of the bar yet? He isn’t sure. Maybe everyone feels bad for the seemingly drunken thirteen year old with nowhere to be on Christmas. He turns, head heavy as he spots Diego to his left clearly in the middle of telling him some story he’d been missing entirely. 

“After all that shit, I finally caught the bastard and punched him into next week. Next month maybe even.” 

Five languidly rolls his eyes, turning his head back to face forward.

“Oh, so you’re too drunk to listen to my story but sober enough to roll your eyes, huh?” Diego chuckles, raising his glass of whiskey. “Little bastard.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Five growls out, though the alcohol in his voice dulls the vitriol.

“Then stop being a bastard.” Diego snorts, setting his drink back down on the countertop. 

“ _Little.”_ Five grumbles. He feels petulant anger bubbling in his chest. “I’m not _little.”_

“You’re right, there’s no one as big a bastard as you, Five.”

Five mumbles a “whatever” under his breath as he watches the ice in his water slowly melt.

“So, wanna tell me why you’re in a seedy club on Christmas?”

Five repeats his question mockingly, folding his arms across his chest. He rocks backwards on his chair and momentarily panics at the feeling of falling, but Diego’s hand across his back stops his sudden, almost descent. 

“Jesus, I don’t know how you survive, you’re like a literal toddler.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Five shouts, throwing his pointer finger in Diego’s face. 

Someone further down the bar momentarily glances at them before turning back to the conversation with their partner. 

“Dolores was right, drinking does make you surly.” Diego comments dryly, unaffected by Five’s yelling. 

Five shakes his head angrily, making himself dizzy. He lowers his forehead down to the counter, wet condensation from his glass rubbing against his cheek. He hears his brother mutter out a sound of disgust. Tightly shutting his eyes, he tries to once again focus on the shitty karaoke instead of dickhead Diego.

“You’re just as much a dickhead, pal.” 

Oh, he said that out loud. His fingers twitch in his lap as he shakes his head against the bartop. 

“So, you gonna tell me why you’re here or you just gonna keep having a tantrum like a child?”

Within one fluid movement, Five lifts his head and shoves Diego hard. His brother grabs at the counter as he almost falls backwards in surprise. “Five, what the h-”

“Am I a child or am I Dad? Which is it?” Five snarls, eyes bloodshot and anger diluting the fog in his brain. 

Diego looks shocked for a moment, mouth dropping open. Five disappears with a pop. 

**_Singin' oh, this must be Christmas_ **

**_'Cause I'm sick of the songs that the radio plays_ **

**_But I'm drinkin' and singin' along anyways_ **

**_Singin' oh, this must be Christmas_ **

He lands just outside the club, falling to the concrete, knees and palms scraping against the icy sidewalk. His vision is blurry, unfortunately for reasons other than alcohol. He sits back on his knees, swiping his eyes with his white undershirt sleeves. He’s even colder than before, now that his jacket has gone mysteriously missing. 

Lyrics from a group singing “It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” waft outside, forcing a sob from somewhere deep in his chest. Do people actually feel that way? Are there people that actually enjoy this stupid fucking miserable season? Are there people with family that actually love them and want to spend time with them and don’t leave them the first chance they can get after seventeen lost years? It hadn’t even been a full month before his siblings splintered, leaving him to fend for himself in a mansion full of bad memories with a mother who’s never quite felt like a mom in a body that isn’t his own and never will be. 

He cries harder, legs burning against the cold, wet pavement. He hides his face in his cut up hands. His back shakes as he breathes sharp, harsh breaths. He can’t hold it in any longer, it’s Christmas for fucks sake and he’s alone outside a seedy club looking like a lost thirteen year old. 

“Hey.” 

It’s said so softly and yet Five flinches intensely, knees scraping further against the ice. He turns his head sharply towards the voice. 

“Just me.” Diego offers easily, raising his hands placatingly. 

Five catches his jacket hanging over his brother’s arm, but it’s not enough for him to feel any desire to have a conversation with Diego. He looks away, focusing on pushing himself up from the ground. He hisses at the rawness of his hands as he uses them to lift himself. Diego watches silently as he struggles to get a grip on the wet ground. Three attempts later and Five gives up, allowing himself to return to his previous position in an attempt of preserving his remaining dignity. 

“Can I help you or are you just gonna explode on me again?” 

At no response, Diego sighs loudly. He bends over his brother, reaching under his arms to lift him from the ground. Five shivers, allowing Diego to help him up despite how vehemently he doesn’t want to. 

“Fuck, you’re freezing. Why didn’t you wear warmer clothes if you were going out?” Diego asks, not waiting for an answer as he steadies Five and wraps his discarded jacket around him. 

From inside the cocoon of his jacket, Five grabs the edges with his aching fingers to hold it tighter around himself. 

“Wasn’t planning on going out.” He mumbles, letting his brother push him along. 

“Then why did you?”

“I was tired of being alone.” He admits aloud for the first time in his life. 

The words hang heavy in the air, loud as the music fades the further they walk. Five glances at Diego who’s already busy staring at him with a foreign expression on his face. 

“And that’s why I found you in one of the seediest clubs in the city?” Diego asks, blinking away from his brother to focus further down the sidewalk. 

“I just- I wanted to feel numb.” 

Five doesn’t know why he keeps saying these things he’s been holding so tightly all this time. He’s just so exhausted from keeping it all locked inside, all the overwhelming feelings that plague his thoughts. 

  
  


**_'Cause there's only so much that my body can take_ **

**_But I'm drinkin' and singin' along anyways_ **

“Well...that makes two of us.” Diego says after a long moment of silence. 

It takes Five a couple minutes to register his brother’s words as he’s pulled along. When did Diego grab his arm? He glances around, noticing familiar buildings. They’d clearly been walking for a while. 

“Why...why would you want to be nu-numb?” Five asks, head lulling forward. 

As his feet attempt to take him in a different direction, Diego pulls him closer. 

“The world sucks, people are shitty. Why else? You don’t think you’re the only one with problems do you?”

Five shakes his head in response, a low sound of frustration escaping him. He trudges along beside Diego wishing any other sibling could have found him, hell he’d probably even take someone from Commission over his brother. 

“Why do you hate me?” He asks, although he hadn’t quite meant to say it aloud. 

Diego stops in place, forcing Five to a stop as well. He grabs his shorter brother by the shoulders, twisting him to face him. His eyebrows furrow and he gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing. 

“Why would you say that?” 

Five doesn’t respond, staring past his brother in refusal of facing his problems. Diego scans him, catching his shiver and starts walking again, pulling Five along. The rest of the walk is silent, although Five doesn’t remember most of it, suddenly coming to on the downstairs couch in the Umbrella Academy house. 

He’s sitting up straight, back against the cushions, covered in blankets. He glances around the room, finding it empty. He remembers asking Diego why he hated him. Shit. He probably ran him off for good. 

"I was just getting hot cocoa like you asked for, don’t get your panties in a twist.” 

Five looks up, finding Diego entering the room with two mugs. He stops in front of the couch, handing one over to Five and then settling next to him. 

“Don’t spill that. Mom made these, the least we can do is not make a mess.” 

Five nods, staring down at the miniature marshmallows floating in his cup. His eyes dart over to watch as Diego reaches into his pocket with his free hand, pulling out his phone. 

“What are you doing?” Five asks as his brother pulls a thick book forward on the coffee table and rests his phone against it horizontally. 

“You said you wanted to watch a Christmas movie so we’re watching a Christmas movie.” Diego answers easily, pressing play. 

Five’s eyebrows pinch together as he tries to remember when he said that. His brother’s shoulder nudging him breaks him from his thoughts. “Drink.”

Five listens, lifting the mug to his mouth and taking a sip. It’s not coffee...it’s better. He takes a few more sips, the chocolate coating his tongue and the warmth of the drink trailing down his throat. 

“Good, huh?” Diego absentmindedly suggests, eyes focused on the screen as the words “Home Alone” pop up. 

Five silently nods, reaching out to place his mug down on the coffee table. He slowly turns his head, blatantly staring at his brother. Diego ignores him for a full minute, purposefully staring at his phone. With a heavy sigh, he reaches forward pausing the movie and setting his own drink down. He turns in his seat on the couch to fully face Five. 

“Look, Five, I don’t hate you and I’m really sorry for comparing you to Dad that wasn’t right. You’re nothing like him and you never will be. I...I just have some anger issues.” Diego admits, rubbing his hand against the opposite arm. 

“I’ve been working on it but I still have bad days, obviously. It’s no excuse and I’m sorry for starting so many fights lately. It’s clear you need…” Diego cuts himself off, scanning his brother’s openly confused expression. 

Before Five can so much as breath, his face is shoved in Diego’s shirt and arms are tightly around him. 

“I’m sorry.” Diego mumbles in his brother’s hair. “I thought you wanted your space.”

Five sighs into the hug, tears once more welling up. He wraps his arms around his brother and allows himself to fall slack. 

“I’m sorry I’m...” Five chokes on a sob. “Like this.”

“Hey.” Diego whispers, pulling away from the embrace to hold Five out by the shoulders. “We’re all we got right now. This Christmas is ours. We can do whatever the fuck we want and no one can tell us otherwise.” 

Five chuckles lightly, pulling the blanket up to pat his eyes dry. Diego watches him for a moment longer before dropping his hold and turning to straighten himself against the couch cushions. He grabs his mug from the coffee table, taking a sip. 

“How we doing alcohol-wise?” He asks with a quirk of his brow, clearly trying to deviate from the previous far too emotional conversation as he returns his cup to its previous position.

Five shrugs loosely, sniffling.

Diego hums in response, patting his brother’s knee. “Whiskey in that hot cocoa, whatcha think?”

Five reaches out, grabbing his own drink and holding it out to Diego. “Sure, one for the road.”

His brother snorts, gently pushing the mug back towards Five instead. “Yeah, okay, you’re clearly still plenty sloshed.”

“Am not.” Five argues with a glare that lacks its usual heat. 

“Mhmm, sure, old man.” Diego says with a dismissive wave of his hand. 

Contrary to his normal self, Five allows the comment to slide. If his mind were clearer maybe he’d engage more in this potential petty fight, but right now he’s content to lose this one. They sit in companionable silence for a few minutes, staring at the coffee table and taking turns sipping from their hot cocoa. Five still feels the alcohol roaming around his veins and likely will for a while given this body’s lack of tolerance. But he’s at least starting to feel coherent enough to think back on the night’s events. 

“Diego, what were _you_ doing in that club?” He finally questions, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled around them. 

“What - so you can stalk me but I can’t stalk you?” Diego teases without thinking.

Despite him having to apologize for his unkind words less than thirty minutes ago, Diego had all but momentarily forgotten what their last big blowout fight had even been about. But now that he remembers it was him being pissy over Five keeping tabs on him, he braces, expecting another quarrel. Five just smiles instead, letting himself fall deeper into the cushions. Diego lets out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding and looks away from his brother with an expression almost bashful.

“Just play the movie, you dick.” Five finally says with a weak shove of his hand against his brother’s shoulder.

Diego chuckles, reaching out to tap his phone. “No problem, you old bastard.”

**_Pour another whiskey for the road_ **

**_'Cause that's the only spirit that I know_ **

**_Singin' oh,_**

**_This must be Christmas_ **

**Author's Note:**

> psa "this must be christmas" by kodaline is amazing 10/10 recommend for all your sad Christmas vibes
> 
> if you enjoyed this fic pls comment so that I may receive that sweet, sweet validation
> 
> thank you and have a great holiday season friends!!


End file.
